Trains

Today I was struck by the realization that my current "spiritual state" is pretty ironic. I am at a Christian college and I feel totally isolated from God. I feel like He and I are on parallel train tracks, and I keep looking in the distance and thinking that they converge sometime. I can hear Him telling me that my track ends and I need to jump on His train right quick, but as I reach my hand over through the window, I can't quite grab His, and I'm getting scared because we're going so fast.

Why is it that knowing I'm hurdling at astronomical speed toward a fatal crash is less scary than just jumping trains? I think I feel I'm safe because I'm heading in the same direction as God. I'm not saying that I'm not a Christian, I am. I believe in Jesus as my Lord and Savior. It just sounds like so much work to completely and fearlessly jump trains. Plus I feel like there's so much riding on MY train. I definitely can't take it all with me- I wouldn't be able to jump then- in fact, I don't think I can take any of it. But I don't want it to end up in a lonely and forgotten pile at the end of the track, either.

The Start of Something New

Being unable to come up with a satisfactory cliche or pun for the title of this blog, I decided to go with Jibberish for now. I felt it was an appropriate warning to whoever might happen across this page and think that I have truly meaningful things to say: I don't. I am struck by the urge to blog today, I had some fairly profound thoughts earlier when I was trying to do some devotions, and I thought that they were worth throwing out there. But we'll get to that in a minute. I probably won't be possessed by this urge again for a while, so I figured I would take advantage of it while it lasts.

To those of you who are already confused, I'm sorry, it won't get much better, or make much more sense. If you want to read something coherent, I would try my older posts, which were assigned for a wonderful class on C.S. Lewis. Now HE has written some cool stuff.

Anyway, I should be doing literally a thousand other things right now. I have 3 pen pals that I owe each of them a letter, homework, laundry, and a sad roommate that I should be comforting, not to mention this blog still needs a legitimate name. But I am not doing this to complain in a public forum, so I will shut up and get to the point.